card house dreams.

And then she said she can't believe, genius only comes along in storms of fabled foreign tongues,

I'm a girl of seventeen who has many dreams and is finding her way.

I like
music,
cute things,
dancing,
dreaming,
being inspired,
crafts,
ramen noodles,
pretty smiles,
musicals,
makeup,
anything that sparkles,
tea,
the beach,
and I love this band called panic! at the disco.

This is my small space on the interwebs where I will share my feelings, hopes, and dreams; my way of channeling my thoughts and views of the world.
.

Tripping eyes, and flooded lungs,

ShoutMix chat widget

Northern downpour sends its love. ♥

An Open Letter.

Saturday, January 9, 2010

To my dearest best friend,

I know you will be reading this hoping for some kind of stupid semi-autobiography detailing how wonderful you are, but unfortunately for you, you'll be getting something a little bit better. You'll be hoping for your usual "un-emotional, blunt, boy stuff" but I'll be dishing out my usual "deep, emotional, coded, girl stuff". I decided to do an open letter after because I needed some creative way of posting this. It seemed like an alright pick.

I'd like to start off by saying how much I appreciate you and our friendship. I know I say this all the time and you probably don't care, but it's true and I don't know what I would do without it. We've known each other since we were tiny and I'd never have thought at eight years old that we'd have such a bond when we were older. I'm so thankful we could remain so close after all that has happened. I can't even count how many times I've called you at obscene hours bawling my eyes out about every little thing. It always makes me feel so much better knowing someone is listening and understanding what I'm upset about. Not just pretending to be listening or telling me how stupid I am for crying - it's also awesome I don't have to worry about anyone leaking any secrets :). I can go on and on crying and blubbering, and you'll stay on the other end, ensuring me I'll be alright, that it's okay to cry, be upset, and to hate my life.

The truth is don't know how you do it. Life has dealt you some of the worst cards. In all honestly I feel if I had to deal with some of the real problems you had to deal with I wouldn't make it. I almost feel ashamed of my frivolous problems. But through it all you continue, through all the hardships thrown at you, remaining as selfless, kind and caring for everyone around you. I admire people like you, people who are fearless and continue on without letting the little things get them down. People who care about others more than themselves. I know you're sitting there thinking I couldn't have forgotten some of the means by which you've managed this, the things you aren't so proud of. I haven't forgotten, nor do I approve, but you make your own decisions and I know you'd still be as unbreakable without them.

I've learnt a lot from you, lessons on life, love, and countless other things. But one of the most important things you've taught me is (here comes the cliché)to just accept who you are and follow what your heart is telling you no matter what. It sounds so stupid, I know, I was debating actually putting it down, but I had to. You've had to figure a lot out lately, a lot of tough stuff, but you've accepted it and accepted yourself. I can only hope one day I'll be able to do the same.

After listing all the amazing things you've done for me, both consciously and unconsciously, I can't help but feel that I'm unworthy. I've always felt this way. I've never told you before for fear of what you'd think if I did. I feel that I have done nothing to deserve such a wonderful friend. In fact I've probably done more to make you hate me than I have to make you love me. I've hurt you and confused you so many times and I feel terrible for it. But you have to understand that my only reasons were partly because I was hurt and confused, but mostly because I'm selfish. I'm sure if you looked up the word "selfish" in the dictionary, you'd find my name as the definition. In our friendship I've primarily been the "taker" while you've contantly been the "giver". I hope we can change this.

This is getting to be really long, so I'm going to end with a YouTube video (it's customary). I know you won't like the song because it's mainstream pop, but I think it fits and it's also pretty catchy :)

Love, Chevalier
xoxo

3 comments

3 Comments:

I am not going to lie this reminded me alot of my best friends and mine relationship.

isnt it awesome when you know there is that one person who completes you, as a friend and no matter what. he/ she will understand you and wont judge you. Not alot of people have found this and I am so grateful for both of us for having this "blessing". even though i am not religious at all, I had to use that lol.

but you know what i mean. :)
i can relate to this 100 percent (L)(L)(L)

love Petka

By with love, at January 10, 2010 at 8:30 PM

Yes I know exactly what you mean. Someone who you just click with on a different level. I'm so thankful for this blessing/gift/luck too :)

xoxo

By Chevalier T., at January 10, 2010 at 9:03 PM

:D:D ya exactly . chevalier i think we have very similar views I am glad we do (L)

By with love, at January 12, 2010 at 9:46 PM