And then she said she can't believe, genius only comes along in storms of fabled foreign tongues,
I'm a girl of seventeen who has many dreams and is finding her way. I like music, cute things, dancing, dreaming, being inspired, crafts, ramen noodles, pretty smiles, musicals, makeup, anything that sparkles, tea, the beach, and I love this band called panic! at the disco. This is my small space on the interwebs where I will share my feelings, hopes, and dreams; my way of channeling my thoughts and views of the world. . Tripping eyes, and flooded lungs,
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What I Want To Be When I Grow Up.
Monday, January 4, 2010
I have been thinking lately about what I want to do with my life. Some people may think I'm too young to be worrying about this, others may be thinking I should seriously get my act together. I've become so worried about this that I feel it has become almost an obsession. Not the kind of obsession where you love something so much or are so infactuated with it that you couldn't imagine breathing without it; but the kind of obsession that's generated almost subconsiously but at the same time you're very conscious of it. The kind of thing that eats away at your sanity day by day but that you kinda shove to the back of your head because you're too scared to acknowledge its existance. It's hard to explain. I've considered many things since being in kindergarten and that smiley, bubbly teacher asks "And what do YOU want to be when you grow up Jimmy?" . In kindergarten I was a very hippie-bohemian-like child, so I replied with "An artist or a fashion designer or a dancer." No one ever said it would be insanely difficult to break into the industry, that most people don't make it to the big league, or that my parents didn't consider these things real jobs. But then I graduated to grade 1 and I all wanted to be was an astronaut. I wanted to see chicken nuggets fly. Seriously. It's still in my folder written in my folder in gold glitter glue to this day. But no one ever said you'd need to be a math and physics whiz. Next was grade two and I knew what I wanted to be. For sure this time. I was 100% positive. I wanted to be a ballerina. I took ballet lessons, watched those cutesy ballet movies, had the outfits, the shoes, the works. It lasted right up until grade 7 when I realized I wasn't that amazing or flexible and that I wasn't very skinny either. Then came grade eight and I knew again. I was going to be a cosmetic surgeon. I had found my niche. My talent resided in my head, I had brains. I was (and perhaps still am) quite vain and I wanted to help people who weren't blessed with nice looks. Up until very recently I still had this in my head as my number one career choice. But no one ever explained how hard university-level math would be and how it would be key to ever getting a toe inside the door of the field of medecine. So now I am here. Sitting in front of my computer screen wondering what I want to be, yet again. Recently I've had quite a few ideas in my head: Cosmetic Surgeon still sounds nice and maybe I could pull myself together and get a proper math tutor and live happily ever after? Make Up Artist I would really like the sound of this one if only they had a university program and not a college program. Also, it's insanely hard to make it to the big leagues - magazines and movies being "big" - and I haven't done myself any favours by taking no art courses throughout my highschool career. Not to mention my parents think I'm nuts for even considering it as a career possiblilty. Radio City Rockette This being my most recent career dream, it probably won't happen in a zillion years. Most of it is fueled by having seen the Christmas Spectacular this year (IT WAS AMAZING, I WAS CAPTIVATED) and wanting to be just like my idol Keltie Colleen (highkicksandhighhopes). I have to admit I watch videos of their choreography and performances on YouTube and try to, albeit poorly, imitate them in my bedroom; I practice those eye-high kicks all over my house whenever possible and I've made my New Years Resolution "to master the splits". Anyhow, this post was just a "rant post" and I know it was god awfully long. And here's no happy inspiring message at the end either. But I'll leave you with the Twelve Days Of Christmas from the Radio City Christmas Spectacular to just show how AMAZINGLY talented those dancers are and the mad skills it takes to be one. And you can bet your bottom dollar I'll be practicing this one later tonight. xoxo 2 comments 2 Comments:
Dear Chevalier, I have read your newest entry. and its kinda funny cause i was going to write the same thing :) i have soo much to write about its scary lol. but ya trust me i feel EXACTLY THE SAME! :) lol. anyways its eating me away faster and faster everyday.
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Wow chevalier. I rllly liked that post. Pretty much all I was |
Lovelies.
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